After just arriving home from work, dressed in my formal attire of black pants, tie and pink button-down shirt, I present my wife with a choice. Knowing that she is envious of the fact that I have been named "Wammer of the Day" twice in a row, I offer to let her douse me with gunge to alleviate her feelings of jealousy. Today also happens to be her birthday, making it an even more special occasion.

She eagerly accepts my offer and starts pouring one bucket of gunge after another over me, thoroughly enjoying herself as she does so. By the end of the activity, I tell her that I am feeling unsteady on my feet and begin to lean against the wall for support. Pretending to come to my aid, she feigns concern, but instead, allows me to slip and fall to the ground in a messy heap.